NellFL

Dear PJ It's fine, it doesn't matter, it's over now and we can be together. God, I don't think I will ever get used to saying that - 'together' it makes me feel delirious. Stop infecting me with your love sickness!! Don't worry about telling people. If we tell anyone and they leave us then they clearly aren't the people we think they are. I don't care what people think, as long as I have you. I expect to be seeing that slow motion run into my arms next time we meet! You owe me one! Hey why not invite everyone to see it, that's one way of telling them that won't involve an awkward conversation! A romantic date huh? I always knew you were a

Dear Chris I had no idea. Sorry for not noticing your actions but I never know if you are joking or not when it comes to our ... relationship? I just assumed you were joking, as always. Now I know though, I can't get this stupid grin off my face and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling light headed. No matter how tempted I am to do a dramatic slow motion run into your arms, I have to ask a couple of questions first. Where do we go from here? Do we tell our friends? What about our parents? Do we hide this from our fans? One thing I do know though, is that you need to take me on an official first date. Since you're always gloating abou

Dear PJ While reading your letter, I started smiling and I couldn't stop. It's funny how you can do that to me even when you are not here. Yes, I do remember the time we practically spooned on the sofa. How could I forget? I remember it differently though. I remember wanting to wrap my arms around your waist and pull you closer, I remember wanting so badly to kiss you and I remember the emptiness I felt when you left my side. That night was painful for me. There you were, so close but I could do nothing. The thing that really astounds me is how adorably oblivious you are. I have lost count of the amount of times I pushed the boundaries o

Dear Chris I know this is old fashioned and you always complain that you can't read my writing but no other way seemed right. I can't tell you this face to face for fear of your reaction and this way, you can choose just to ignore me and get on with your life. I don't know how I am finding it so hard to write this. You'd think after hours and months of going over and over the ways I could say it, it would be easy. Do you remember that time when all of our friends were going to some party they'd been going on about for so long but I was too ill to go? Even though you had been looking forward to it for ages, you stayed behind with me and we

PJ's POV "We are going on an adventure!" Chris announced from his place next to me on the sofa, his body turned to face me and his eyes dancing in anticipation. One month ago Chris had confessed his feelings to me and although I had not been sure of my own, I agreed to give it a try. I had got used to Chris's spontaneous attitude by now and moments like the one I was faced with today were not uncommon. I regarded him, taking in his stance, expression and bright eyes – it was clear he was very excited. "Lead the way" I reply simply. I don't bother to ask where (he wouldn't tell me and I prefer the surprise). Chris grins widely, grabs my hand

Chris's POV I sighed sadly as I scrolled down the comments on my new video. So they had found out about me and PJ huh. There were nice words and congratulations plus a fair few with people writing things like 'I knew it!!' and 'My fan girl heart just exploded!' which made me chuckle. But lurking among them were comments that broke my heart 'you're going out?! Unsubscribed!'  'Faggot' and more sinister ones 'You don't deserve your subscribers, go kill yourself.' They are stupid and immature and I know I should just ignore them but they are hurtful. They make me worry about PJ, what if he was getting the same thing? He found it harder to mask

 Warning- Suicide So this was it, her last moments on earth. She had thought she might change her mind, staring across the endless ocean as the sun set in the distance. Perhaps memories would come back containing reasons for her to carry on living and she would lift up the oars and row back to shore. She realised how naive this thought had been, she was now so far past that point they seemed laughable. Any happy thoughts had been lost in the haze a long time ago, along with the days when she used to smile.  Now all that presided in her tortured mind was acceptance, she was ready. In fact she needed this, wanted this, craved the nothingness a

PJ's POV I woke up from my nap when I felt people moving around me. Looking up I saw Dan coming down the stairs tugging a sheepish looking Chris behind him "Come on, everybody out" he said firmly. There were groans of dissapoint from the small crowd "PJ's tired" he reasoned but he glanced at Chris after he said it making the older boy blush slightly. I was too tired to wonder about it though instead I wearily began the long task of hugging all the guests. When it was finally just me,Chris,Dan and Phil left I let out a sigh of relief. The party had really taken it out of me and a warm bed would be very welcome right now. Dan smiled when he

Phil's POV When we got to the hospital to see PJ (after allowing Chris some alone time with him) we were informed he had been discharged. Dan was annoyed that Chris hadn't notified us of this change but I think they probably just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.  I patted Dans back to calm him down and he sighed "Sorry ... It's just they both almost died and we have barely seen them" I smiled at him. "I know Dan, but we can just go and see them now. They will be at PJ's house, I don't think Chris's place is ... available right now" we both grimaced then Dan nodded "Yeh, I'd like that" he replied. We left the hosp

Chris's POV That was close, I nearly blew it there. Had I seriously been about to kiss my best friend? Well it was his fault for being so damn gorgeous! With that bed hair and eyes that draw you in ... I knew staying so close to PJ was going to be hard but I didn't expect it to be this hard! If it hadn't been for that nurse I wouldn't have been able to stop myself, but she wasn't always going to be there to save my arse. I had to gain some more self control and quickly! He did lean in though... That's a point, why did he lean in? I was close enough to him as it was, was he experiencing the same cravings as me? I don't want to get my hopes u